In case you didn't notice its a new year, and with that the obligatory new years resolutions. One of mine is to write more so I start off with this short post.
What a year 2015 was. I still am feeling a little blah there has been so much joy and progress personally and for me and my family, and yet it has been filled with challenges and much tragedy.
I want to be happy in the personal successes I have seen, how good of shape I am in (I actually like to run, who knew) and watching Owen's successes in chess, music, theater and well just about anything that kid puts his mind to. The progress on getting our house into some semblance of a home, and Robby's health is beyond believing. If you didn't know he had to take pills every 12 hours you wouldn't believe he had a transplant a mere two years ago. There are so many who live such a different path where transplant is not the complete success that we have seen, and I am grateful that it is one less stresser in our lives, and yet . . .
Erika our amazing donor was diagnosed with cancer (thank god she is cancer free but seriously), my Grandmother who has been a rock for me the last few years has had her mind taken by alzheimer's, and my brother who I love so much and am so proud of lost his battle to depression.
I am reminded why I started to write, when everything we were going through was so overwhelming that the only place I could start thinking straight was when I was writing. I again feel that pull. A new year is a time of resolutions, of new beginnings, of hope. But I am starting with a memorial, a scattering of ashes and a goodbye I'm not ready to give. In the next year I want to start to reclaim some of what made me happy in 2015. So here is what I have learned:
I LOVE TO RUN, I have spent to many years convincing my self differently and now as I start this year with two races already signed up for and at least 4 more I want to do, I will run.
I CAN'T DO IT ALL, I have for so long, but, that isn't how I want to live. I need to say no, I'm allowed to say no. I WILL SAY NO
MY FAMILY IS MY LIFE, no matter what I do to make a living, family is what is important, and I am not only talking about blood relations, family is more than blood and I have learned that so much this year. I have many more close friends, people who will never know how much I rely on them and I only hope I give at least a fraction back. To all those who have supported me, my family, I will spend more quality time with you (some of it while running.)
I HAVE THINGS TO SAY, For you who actually read this (which I appreciate) this means more writting, I am unsure where this will go, I have a feeling I will be delving into some illnesses that have marred 2015, as well as what I am doing. We will see where the key board takes me. I know that my resolution will be to write, I find when by the time I've neared the end I start to realize why writing is important. I do hope to finish some of the PKD and transplant story, but also what the follow up has been. When I picked the title of When is Someday it represented the feelings we had about PKD. Everything we had in store was a someday, dialysis, transplant, recovery. That hasn't changed, there is always a someday and I now see that expanding in a new way. So on to 2016, my new someday.
